Frank Bwalya Demands President Create Fancy Graphs to Showcase Rising Cost of Living
In a shocking turn of events, Mr. Frank Bwalya has demanded that President Hakainde Hichilema whip out his graphing calculator and create some fancy graphs to showcase the rising cost of living in Zambia. Yes, that’s right folks, forget about screaming at Father Salangeta, what we really need are some snazzy graphs!
According to sources, Mr. Bwalya has been keeping a close eye on the price of mealie meal, and he’s not happy with what he’s seeing. “It’s outrageous!” he reportedly exclaimed. “Zambians are having to pay more for their daily sustenance than ever before. We need graphs, we need charts, we need visual aids to really make people understand the gravity of the situation.”
Now, we’re not sure how President Hichilema feels about this demand, but we can only imagine he’s feeling pretty overwhelmed. After all, between creating a comprehensive economic plan and dealing with the aftermath of previous administration’s corruption scandals, who has time for graph-making?
But fear not, dear citizens of Zambia, because Mr. Bwalya is on the case. He’s promised to personally oversee the creation of these graphs and ensure that they’re as shiny and impressive as possible. Never mind the fact that there are much bigger issues at play here, like education, healthcare, and poverty alleviation. Nope, we need graphs! Lots and lots of graphs!