“From Pulpit to Pocket: Matero Reverend Vanishes with K713,600 GCE Fees!”
Ba Matero at it again!!! In a twist more dramatic than a banja season finale, a Reverend and teacher at Matero Boys Secondary School has left the community in shock after allegedly “laying holy hands” not for deliverance, but to disappear with K713,600 meant for GCE exam fees!
According to a statement from the Zambia Police Service, the suspect, Mr. Elifas Banda a man who wears two hats as a guidance teacher by day and a Reformed Church of Zambia Reverend by weekend pulled off a move so bold it has left the whole of Matero clutching their chitenge in disbelief.
The incident, which unfolded on the night of March 7, 2025, started like an ordinary Friday evening. But instead of preparing his Sunday sermon, Mr. Banda was reportedly on a different “mission.” Around 22:00 hours, he handed his office keys to the night guard, mumbling something about giving them to his assistant, Ms. Rosette Mulambwa.
But ba night guard clearly a man with street smarts decided, “Iyi mission yaipa!” and passed the keys to the Deputy Headteacher, Mr. M’Given Munkanshi, instead.
And just when we thought the plot couldn’t thicken any further, Mr. Banda sent a text message to his assistant that had everyone asking, “Is this a confession or a spiritual parable?” He casually admitted that he had left with the money in question. Just like that no burning bush, no thunderous voice just a simple SMS.
To add salt to the already spicy drama, a Samsung mobile phone valued at K4,000 also disappeared, as if the money needed a technological companion on its mysterious journey.
The Deputy Headteacher, clearly more shocked than someone finding nshima without relish, wasted no time. By March 10, at exactly 15:11 hours, he reported the matter to Matero Police Station.
Meanwhile, GCE candidates are biting their nails, wondering if their exam fees will resurrect like Lazarus or if they’ve just become part of the biggest plot twist since “Wakanda Forever.”
March 12, 2025
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