Dear President Michael Chilufya Sata,
Ba Kateka,
I hope this letter finds you well wherever you are — probably still lecturing angels on how to fix their road network and reduce the price of manna. We miss your fire, your sarcasm, your unpredictability… and honestly, your chaos. Zambia has never been the same since you left in 2014, and your beloved Patriotic Front? Ah, that one has gone through things.
Let me update you before you start turning in your… well… symbolic resting place (since even that matter is still pending theologically speaking).
✍🏾 1. Your beloved PF was sold — literally.
Yes, Sir. Someone actually sold your party like a second-hand bicycle at Kamwala Market. PF is now officially defunct. Imagine the party you built with your bare knuckles being traded like a used Samsung Galaxy S6.
✍🏾 2. Your “mentees” still can’t agree who leads them.
They are divided like family members at insambo lyamfwa of a rich sibling — everyone claiming to be the rightful heir, no one willing to sit down, and everyone shouting “ni ifwe twalishiba efyo ba Shikulu bale fwaya!”
✍🏾 3. Calculator Boy became President.
Yes, the same one you used to tease for loving numbers more than people. He actually made it to State House. And to be fair, he has been strict with the economy — negotiating debt restructuring for the eurobonds you left us with. The man has been calculating day and night.
Yes a number of people have been complaining bitterly, but those characters at the suspicious Bretton Woods institutes have been singing praises like our very own “praise singers” about fiscal discipline and good international credit gradings.
”Aweh shuwah, agwira nchito a HH!”
✍🏾 4. Your disciple ECL still hasn’t been buried — 10 months later.
You two were close, but even you must be wondering why he hasn’t joined you properly. Ten months, Sir. Ten. Months. Zambia has never seen such a prolonged “pause” in national mourning like this one.
”Chilefina mukwai!” 🥺
✍🏾 5. Zambia is doing alright economically.
Not perfect, but stable. Calculator Boy has been tightening belts — including belts that people didn’t even know they were wearing. Inflation has been tamed, debt talks have been ongoing, and the economy is no longer free-falling.
✍🏾 6. Guy Scott retired after being labelled a foreigner.
Yes, the same Guy Scott you left as Acting President. They told him he wasn’t Zambian enough. And now they’ve done the same to Given Lubinda. Apparently, “foreignness” is contagious. 🥺
✍🏾 7. Your disciple ECL did try.
Under his leadership, many good reforms and developmental projects were completed. But cadres? Ah, Sir. They grew wings, tails, horns, and a soundtrack (alebwelelapo) They became a national nightmare. Even you would have shouted, “Awe sure, mulekwatako amano!”
✍🏾 8. Vubwi is still undeveloped.
Yes, still. And Dr. Nevers Mumba — your fellow tribesman — even got into trouble there under the PF administration when he tried to campaign. You remember how furious you were with ECZ over that constituency in 2008? Ah well…
✍🏾 9. The “New Dawn” has turned civil servants into professional workshop attendees.
Sir, if you resurrected today, you would find every ministry holding workshops, seminars, capacity-building sessions, and stakeholder engagements. Workplaces are empty — everyone is “in a meeting.” Zambia has become a nation of PowerPoint presentations. 😁
✍🏾 10. Social media has replaced Parliament.
Debates? Policies? National direction? Forget Parliament — everything is now decided on Facebook, TikTok, and X. Influencers have more power than MPs. Even angels would need a TikTok account to be heard today.
✍🏾 Ka Bevla
Guess what sir? China is our fairweather friend. They made peace with you, and even with calculator boy’s administration. Many thought because he has such a great relationship with America, they would be out of the picture but alas, sir, the Americans are always throwing shade on China even now, ba ambassador baku stango didn’t miss the opportunity to throw all manner of accusations against the current administration — ati corruption pro max!
Remember in your time you had one Henry Kapoko who was jailed for stealing medicines from the Ministry of Health? Aweh shuwah, even now that ministry is still problematic. They fix one problem by creating ZAMMSA, only to create new problems.
Corruption yeve iyoneka monga kulibe kwe iyenda! Tilinayo tight Shikulu. Ili nuuuu! Nabo bali ndwiiii! Tjoo!! 🫣
As for China, I guess China are not going anywhere and for now, they are embedded in our economy like a tick on a diseased dog!
”China, China!”
I guess if you could answer me now you’d say
”Iwe Mwambazi, you are starting to sound like an MMD cadre!” 😁
In closing bashikulu…
Ba Sata, we joke, we laugh, we complain — but truth be told, Zambia has never had another leader with your peculiar blend of humor, grit, madness, brilliance, and heart. You were a storm, a spectacle, a force of nature. You annoyed us, inspired us, confused us, and entertained us — often all in the same week.
Thank you for the memories, the laughter, the development, the drama, and the indelible mark you left on our national story.
Rest well, Sir.
We are still here, still surviving, still laughing — just as you taught us.
Yours in patriotic confusion,
A Citizen Who Remembers.
Rev Walter Mwambazi
Yes you are 100% correct, Zambian made a grave mistake to give power to a man that to advantage of the country’s high numbers of uneducated and ignorant masses. Our fall down as a country start the day sata was sworn in as a president of Zambian, himself obtain alot of crude business/money with his mezaf company, just that in zambia a criminal as long as not in prison is a small god. Praise him in his death to some we don’t believe his near salvation but a supervisor of senior grave dig in hell.
I surprised Sir to find that you can still waste time to write all these words in form of a letter to a dead man. You should know that once someone is dead, he has no more part to play under the sun, the very moment he dies, his thoughts and memory immediately cease to function, they perish. Psalms 146:4 His breath goeth forth, he returneth to his earth; in that very day his thoughts perish. Sata is dead, he can’t read a letter or turn in his grave, only those who are still in the land of the living can do that.