Marriage is a scam, Ng’ombe woman tells court after discovering husband bathing with another woman
A Ng’ombe woman has told the Chelstone Local Court that her husband declared “marriage is a scam” after she confronted him over allegedly bathing with another woman while she was recovering from a Caesarean section at her mother’s home.
Lusaka, 21 August – Stella Mwalubanga, 29, said her marital troubles escalated after she stopped working in 2022 following her pregnancy, with her husband, Elijah Mushayabanu, 32, allegedly becoming increasingly distant and apparently discovering a whole new philosophy of marriage: one in which his younger sister washed his boxers, rubbed his chest when it hurt and, according to Stella, received money for relish that would ordinarily have gone to the wife.
Stella dragged Elijah to the Chelstone Local Court seeking a divorce, saying the couple had developed serious misunderstandings and that their marriage had become less of a partnership and more of a daily episode of “Who can make this situation even stranger?”
She told the court that the couple married in 2021 and have three children, but that everything began changing after she became pregnant with their second child and stopped working.
According to Stella, the man who had once been a loving husband gradually became a man who spent nights away from home without explanations and showed little interest in her welfare, even after she underwent surgery to deliver their child.
She said that only a week after her operation, Elijah allegedly reminded her that the arrival of his younger sister meant she should not “behave like a boss” and should continue doing household chores.
Stella said she later became seriously ill and asked whether her sister could come and help her recover, but Elijah allegedly rejected the idea because he did not like living with other people.
With her health deteriorating, Stella returned to her parents’ home to receive care.
Even then, she said, she continued going back to the matrimonial home to perform chores and wash her husband’s clothes, only to be told that he would wash his own clothes.
It appears, however, that “I’ll wash for myself” did not necessarily mean Elijah had suddenly developed an independent laundry ethic.
Stella told the court that his younger sister later moved in and began receiving money from Elijah for household expenses instead of Stella.
She also alleged that Elijah told her that if she was too sick, she should return to her parents’ home, where she would not have to worry about household chores.
Then came the phrase that would apparently become the unofficial slogan of the collapsing marriage.
Stella said Elijah told her: “Marriage is a scam.”
She said he made the remark after she confronted him about allegedly bathing with another woman while she was staying at her parents’ home.
According to Stella, Elijah also told her that he was only in the marriage because he was married and that there was nothing he could do about it.
Adding insult to injury, Stella said Elijah never paid her hospital bills, leaving her mother and brother to help foot the medical expenses.
She said that after she returned to her parents’ home, Elijah never visited her, despite efforts by both families to intervene.
The families eventually sat the couple down, but Stella said the meeting produced little more than another question: whether she still wanted the marriage.
She said Elijah’s relatives gave her one month to decide.
Rather than immediately filing for divorce, Stella said she returned home and pleaded with her husband to preserve the marriage for the sake of their children.
Elijah, however, allegedly told her he had no say in the matter and directed her to his mother, who lives on a farm in Mpongwe, saying she had the final say.
There was, unfortunately, one small logistical problem.
Stella said Elijah did not give her transport money to travel to Mpongwe.
The reconciliation attempt then took an even more dramatic turn.
Stella told the court that when she returned to the matrimonial home, Elijah’s elder sister phoned her on the very first night and allegedly ordered her to leave, saying she did not want Stella to die in the house because of her illness and put Elijah in trouble.
The sister allegedly advised Stella to leave and find another man who would love her despite her sickness.
Then, Stella said, her husband asked his younger sister, who was 27, to rub his chest because it was hurting.
The younger sister allegedly did so in Stella’s presence.
By morning, Stella said, the same sister was washing Elijah’s boxers.
At that point, the matrimonial home had apparently become less of a marriage and more of a family-operated customer service centre.
Stella said she left the house and reported the matter to Elijah’s aunt, particularly the incident involving his sister rubbing his chest and washing his underwear.
A month later, she received another call from a neighbour.
According to Stella, the neighbour informed her that Elijah was allegedly bathing with another woman and regularly bringing different women into the home.
The neighbour allegedly told her that some of the women stayed for more than three days and that one woman was currently in the bathroom with Elijah.
Stella said she went to the house and saw enough to convince her that the situation was no longer one she wanted to negotiate.
She concluded that Elijah was “too old” not to know what he was doing.
Elijah, for his part, did not exactly arrive in court carrying a suitcase full of reconciliation plans.
He told the court that he also wanted the marriage to end because the couple had never lived harmoniously and had gradually grown apart.
He said he was working and claimed that he had never paid bride price, although he had paid money towards pregnancy damages.
Elijah also rejected the suggestion that his nights away from home were necessarily evidence of marital mischief, saying he slept at work.
He complained that Stella was not punctual and that their child was frequently arriving late at school.
But his biggest grievance appeared to be an incident involving alcohol.
Elijah told the court that when their second child was only three months old, Stella allegedly left the house at about 02:00 hours to drink alcohol with her sister while he was asleep.
He said the baby later started crying, prompting him to discover that Stella was not home.
When he went outside, he allegedly saw her returning with bottles of alcohol.
Elijah said that incident caused him to completely lose interest in his wife.
The court, however, ultimately found itself facing a rather unexpected obstacle to the divorce proceedings.
In its judgment, the court held that it could not grant the divorce because there was no valid marriage between Stella and Elijah for the purposes of the proceedings.
The reason?
Bride price had not been paid.
So, after allegations involving hospital bills, late-night drinking, absent husbands, mysterious women, chest-rubbing sisters, freshly washed boxers and the declaration that “marriage is a scam,” the court’s final plot twist was that, legally speaking, the marriage itself had not properly entered the chat.
And just like that, what appeared to be a divorce case became a lesson in the importance of sorting out the paperwork before the arguments begin.
-Nkanionline 2026 #NewsOnDemand