DEPRESSION: Mpali Director, Collins Zulu, Reveals Personal Details About Battle With Depression
Family, friends & all; let’s reach out to Collins Zulu.
He’s a brother, a friend, a husband & a father who needs our support.
Collins Zulu reveals
I STAND NAKED BEFORE YOU
I have never shared anything personal on social media, but this one cuts deep.
You may mock me as I strip myself naked publicly. My vulnerability is a cry for help. I write this with tears in my eyes and a heavy heart 💔.
I have always been that funny guy on film sets cracking jokes making everyone laugh even on Facebook sharing jokes. But behind those jokes lays an empty soul, given up on life, resigned from everything to do with progress.
I have been struggling with depression for the past three years and no one noticed because I kept a straight face. There were moments I felt like taking my own life. Even the trauma from my last road accident still haunts me to this day, I blacked out whilst driving, I have a serious phobia for cars.
Mpali has been an escape for me and a good distraction from my pain, but the moment I leave the set, pain hugs me even more tighter every passing day.
Like most depressed people, I equally took it to bottles. The last six months has been my most dangerous life threatening period. I completely lost it. I have literally been drinking every night just to numb the pain. I could drink two bottles of nederburg wine whole by myself and still not get drunk, it got to a point of mixing Black Label vima big vili five to feel something with additional shots of whiskey.
I have been drinking three to four different types of alcohol in a night to get knocked and blackout just in order to sleep, Insomnia has been my companion if I’m sober. Even antidepressants could not do the job.
In the morning I would wake up without remembering anything from last night. In short, I was slowly becoming a junky without noticing, hurting important people in my life. It’s very easy to become a junky in entertainment industry because of excited fans who buys alcohol for you like there’s no tomorrow.
I’m a very guarded person, I don’t confide in people anyhow, I’m very private. I maybe a keyboard worrier on Facebook but I rarely go out to public places. If you happen to meet me, I’m likely to be alone. Before I became a deplorable father, I would be with my kids.
People, depression is real. Why am I sharing this? I know there are a lot of people out there struggling battling dealing with depression. My confession is part of my healing process for rehabilitation, I know it’s a journey that won’t be easy. But I’m glad I have come to this realization before it’s too late.
We need to be more sensitive to one another, behind most smiles you see lays deep scures. The biggest problem, when you’re in this state, nothing else matters. Being a director of the most popular and watched show in the Southern region and East Africa, you would expect someone to be a happy soul because almost everywhere you go, people are appreciating your work. Unfortunately this has not been the case. I have been an empty soul.
Entertainment industry has a lot of depressed individuals. One of the causes has been pressure to perform and maintain the top spot.
Before it’s too late, if you’re going through any sort of struggle, talk to someone mature, you might just live to see another day.
Beer is suppose to be for recreation, but moment you start drinking to suppress your issues, just know that you’re heading towards a destructive path that usually results in losing your life.
I’m taking sabbatical leave from this account as I embark on my recovery. I’ll only be posting film related on Director-Collins page. ❤️❤️❤️