Malema Asks Why Black People Always Die First in American Movies, Says They Are Racist
EFF leader Julius Malema has accused Hollywood of deep-rooted racism for always ensuring that the black guy is the first to die in every American movie.
“Comrades, we are tired of seeing our people being eaten by the monster before the opening credits even finish. Why must the black character go into the dark basement first, while the white ones are still eating popcorn?” Malema shouted, banging the table as if it were a Hollywood scriptwriter’s desk.
According to Malema, the trend has been going on for decades, from horror films to action blockbusters. “Even in Titanic, comrades, they didn’t even show the black people. They probably drowned before the ship hit the iceberg!” he exclaimed.
The red beret leader said that if Hollywood doesn’t change its ways, the EFF will launch a campaign to boycott American movies and instead produce “revolutionary cinema” where the black character survives until the end credits — and the white billionaire dies first.
“Our movies will start with a white man making bad decisions, then the black comrade will survive to tell the story while sipping Umqombothi,” Malema declared to loud applause from EFF supporters.
He also promised that in all future EFF-approved films, the monster will refuse to eat the black guy. “Even the zombies must learn respect. They must eat the rich first,” he added.
Meanwhile, Hollywood executives were reportedly confused by the statement, with one director whispering: “Does he know Snakes on a Plane had Samuel L. Jackson?”
Malema, however, remained firm: “That’s one man, comrades! And even he had to shout at snakes. We don’t want exceptions, we want transformation!”