Normalise writing a WILL!
By Laura Miti
Discussed, with friends, the deep rifts that exist in so many Zambian families, across status, over inheritance. Disturbing stories of previously close extended families, siblings and even surviving parents and children, who now hate each other over estates
While, by no means, restricted to them, the situation is worst in blended families where either parent has children from more than one relationship.
Families are selling off valuable properties at give away prices, following disputes. They, then, share what amount to ngwees and close the door on each other.
As for court processes, between close family members, those are a pandemic.
Our conclusion was that, given that Zambians spend a considerable amount of their life’s energy building property, and trying to create the so called generational wealth for their children, individuals need normalise writing wills.
Further, couples should jointly own property, if that is the way they live their lives. Stories abound of a couple jointly pouring money into a property, whose title is one name only. When the title holder dies, well, the property passes to the joint estate for all heirs, not to the surviving spouse who, in all argument, now owns it.
I will end this by saying a nuclear family is only primary until children marry, and create their own primary families. What this means is that an amicable agreement on how rent from “a family house,” for example, will be shared, is usually only civil until new spouses and children enter the picture.
Then, individuals begin to centralise the interests of their own children over the original nuclear family. This becomes a bomb when the the line of the first inheritors has passed.
How it tends to go is: property belonged to Mr and Mrs Siame, parents toJohn, Martha and Mwaka. The three shared rent happily.
Then, John and Mwaka are dead and there is only Martha who now takes the rent. However, John and Mwaka’s children are resentful and believe they should still have a share. Quarrels start.
As for what happens after Martha dies, and it is the first cousins, many who didn’t even meet the original Siames, engaged in a money battle. There are no loyalties.
It’s a case of – let blood flow ngati ni so.
Simply, write wills, people. In truth, believe the Bible when it says – that which you sweat for, will be owned by a stranger one day. A friend kept repeating this to us, in our discussion.
When we are gone we are gone – thankfully!
We can only pray you do not get to see what your sweat does to your children, and their children. Even worse, how much of what you treasured is sold off, without a second thought.
This is done even before your intestines have burst out of your stomach, in the grave.
