Sinormal Calendar
By Godfrey Chitalu
When my meticulous methodical leader decided to go on a working holiday at his farm, I aimlessly drove my Landcruiser VX-R to Si Normal to buy one pocket of cement.
In these Si Normal times of fuel increments, Honorables sometimes have no enough liquidity to buy in bulk. Although it was April fools holiday, I received a wonderful reception as the Si Normal ambassador herself was acting as a sales lady on that very day: all regular staff were on holiday.
After I paid using coins for my pocket of cement, the ambassador advised that it would be ideal for the package to be delivered to my house during a normal working day on a forklifter.
In appreciation for the gesture of enriching his company with that coinful purchase, he decided to offer me an extra gift in form of a calendar. Never mind what people are saying, it was just a small gift concealed in a brown paper bag. Unlike the previous regime where Honorables got brown envelopes at night, my calendar was gifted in broad day light.
Since my hands are constantly tired from the lifting of files for job seekers, I requested the Si Normal ambassador herself to carry the gift to my fuel saving vehicle. What I did not know was that a disgruntled bombastic and binoculatic leader had positioned DSL cameras allover Si Normal.
My annoyance is that the pictures that have gone viral show the ambassador carrying a briefcase and not a paper bag. Si Normal iyi ni photoshop!
I want to come out clean, it only had a Si Normal calendar whose fiscal year started on 1st April, which some of you know as fool’s day. And this writing, Si Normal, it is an extension of fools day. My current focus now is to find out who the disgruntled person shot and circulated those pictures. Si Normal to take pictures of Honorables without their permission.
Where is this new culture of spying on your leaders coming from? Si Normal iyi! There must be something the public is hiding! Why all of a sudden are you making our lives harder than our chikanda mbwelenge economy? If we promised Corollas, is it our fault that these vehicles are no longer in supply?
As for monthly fuel increments are we the ones who invaded Ukraine? Ba 1.8 ka Normal tesana, surely ka Si Normal calendar chabe kativute?
The author is a social commentator who writes for pleasure. For reactions and feedback call: 0977466284| 0963013760, Email: goddychitty@gmail.com (@goddychitty) Twitter|Facebook)