By Godfrey Chitalu
HELD at the center of the village, sitting on a hill, the “After Burial” or Isambo Lyamfwa was a somber ceremony open to anyone who opted to attend. By dawn, thousands had gathered around the venue waiting for their turn.
Since the deceased was a renowned truthful king, only those who passed a rigorous lie detector and hypocrisy test and truthfully answered questions were allowed inside by specially selected village elders.
A lanky humble figure presented himself with an introduction that he was the undisputed previous Induna who should be given the first chance.
He was asked a simple question whether he was tall or short to which he replied that he was actually the shortest in his family. Questions on how he had managed the previous village economy and his militant youth wing kept popping up. For reasons best known to the elders, he was denied entry.
At that same moment, a bespectacled woman mesmerized her way to the front. She insisted that she was in charge of all health facilities in the village and beyond. The elders asked her about the 11200 traditional birth attendants waiting to be employed.
They asked why the advert was overtaken by non-medical staff like cleaners and drivers. They also quizzed her on why it had taken more than six months to deliver medical supplies to all the villagers.
Unfortunately based on her answers she was also denied entry despite her mumbled protestations.
As the crowd started protesting about the slow process, a seemingly educated Induna thrust his big body to the front. He was greeted with a question; what do you know about the yet-to-be-employed 30,000 village teachers?
The perplexed Induna opted to remain quiet. He has quietly whisked away and told he stood no chance of attending the Isambo Lyamfwa.
It was almost dusk when one wise old man in charge of roads insisted to be interviewed. He was asked to state the difference between a viable and non-viable road. It looked like he was not expecting this question but had prepared on the cost estimates.
By saying he didn’t know the difference, he denied himself entry into the main arena. Even the potbellied Induna who failed to answer truthfully the calculations on the cost of fertilizer was thrown out!
As it transitioned from dusk to pitch darkness, none of the people interviewed had managed to convince the council of elders. Worried that the after burial might not take place; a call was made for common people to come forward.
To say there was almost a stampede was an understatement. The council of elders now had to use a megaphone to ask only two questions. Did the past Induna meet your expectations?
Is the present Induna meeting your expectations? The crowd answered in unison a deafening – NO! That is how all commoners were allowed to take part in the Isambo Lyamfwa.
As for the resolutions of the meeting, I can’t say anything because I was also not allowed to take part. I remained outside mingling with other hypocrites.
The author is a social commentator who writes for pleasure.
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