“MAYO! AMBULANCES BALIBE!”: PS NICHOLAS PHIRI EATS HIS WORDS, BLAMES ‘LOGISTICAL DEMONS’
What was meant to be a grand game-changer in Zambia’s healthcare system has turned into a dramatic dramedy, after the Ministry of Local Government and Rural Development failed to deliver the promised 156 ambulances by May 31, 2025.
Permanent Secretary for Technical Services, Nicholas Phiri, who boldly declared last year that he would resign “without fail like a man of integrity” if the ambulances didn’t land by May-end, has now U-turned faster than a taxi avoiding traffic police in town.
Speaking at a Thursday morning press briefing that felt more like a comedy show than a crisis response, Mr Phiri solemnly announced, “There have been unexpected logistical challenges… we didn’t foresee them.”
In other words, the ambulances have joined the list of things that are on the way but never arrive, just like “airtime from your broke cousin.
Pressed by journalists who waved receipts of his resignation pledge like hawkers selling boiled eggs at a bus stop, Phiri stood his ground, refusing to step down.
“I’m not going anywhere. The ambulances are now expected in August 2025,” he insisted, like a groom promising the bride’s relatives that he will show up eventually.
Critics are not laughing.
Civil society groups and opposition politicians are roasting the PS like goat at a wedding. The undelivered ambulances were part of a heavily publicized national initiative to improve emergency medical response across the country, promising one ambulance per constituency 156 in total.
So far? Only 47 have landed. The rest? Muli ku sea!
“What are these logistical challenges?” one opposition MP asked sarcastically. “Did the ambulances miss the plane or are they coming by canoe from China?”
Social media has since erupted with memes showing Nicholas Phiri driving a toy ambulance, while others have started a trending slogan:
#BringBackOurAmbulances — second only to #PSPhiriResignChallenge.
Whether the missing ambulances are stuck at sea, hiding in a warehouse, or simply part of Zambia’s new “ghost fleet,” one thing is clear accountability is still waiting for its own emergency response.
As for Mr. Phiri, he’s still in office, still giving updates, and still dodging resignation like a debtor spotting their creditor at Shoprite.