THE LANGUAGE ZAMBIANS UNDERSTAND BETTER.
By Mwanachingwala
My brother GC Comedy asked me to explain what kind of animal Subsidy is, so Let me try and explain our current SUBSIDY situation in the simplest form possible. I hope you find this helpful.
1. Understanding a Subsidy
You are renting a house at K6,000 per month in Salama park and a blesser comes through and commits to be paying your Landlord K4,000 per month, meaning you now only pay your Landlord K2,000 per month. The Blesser is Subsidizing your Rent…
2. Understanding Zambias previous Situation.
You are now happy that you are only paying K2,000 per month to your landlord but unknown to you is the fact that your blesser is actually not giving your landlord the K4,000 he committed to be paying. Meaning in the landlords record you have monthly arrears of K4,000 piling up. The landlord has hope the Blesser will pay because he has sweet talk, smells nice and drives the latest cars on the market.
3. Understanding Zambia’s current situation
Unfortunately for you the blessed dies. While at his funeral, your high school crash cries so well and convinces you he can make a good long term replacement to your blesser (obviously makes some very costly promises when crying just to make sure he wins you over), anyways that’s not the reason for this post.
Fast forward blesser is gone and high school crash is in charge. At his first visit to your house he meets the landlord who shows him the rental bill. Before he recovers from this shock he also gets to know that most of those dinners , Dubai trips and expensive clothes that the Blesser bought for you were actually bought on credit and the Blesser borrowed in your name.
4. Understanding Zambia’s steps going forward.
At this point the high school crash realises that he cried his way into a highly indebted relationship but he loves you so much and decides to attempt to sort out your issue:
So he tells you that you now have to pay your rent in full as he does some piece work to raise some funds to dismantle your rental arears. He does this because he doesn’t want you to acrue more rental arears. He also tells you that you may now need to reduce on the Dubai trips and instead go to dream valley where you can afford even without his help.
On top of this he says he will now use that K4000 which he should have instead promised the landlord to pay your maid, gardener and also use it to increase your monthly girlfriend allowance.
5. Understanding Zambia’s current debate
The question now remains would you rather you continue paying your K2,000 per month and pray your landlord keeps understanding you despite the rental pile up or do you take the rough offer by your boyfriend to pay K6,000 per month with the benefit of a peace of mind, an increased girlfriend allowance and a possibility that you would actually start building your own house once you dismantle the rent arrears.
Just in case it doesn’t make sense please remember that I’m just a comedian…😁😁