Trump Sends Real Estate Delegation to Moscow to Offer Putin a “Peace Deal” That Looks Suspiciously Like Surrender
In a bold new chapter of The Art of the Deal, Donald Trump is reportedly prepared to recognize Russia’s ownership of Crimea and whatever other territories Putin has wandered into lately, all in the sacred pursuit of “ending the war” by giving the aggressor exactly what he wants.
According to The Telegraph, Trump’s very own Special Envoy Steve Witkoff and his permanently astonished son-in-law Jared Kushner have boarded a jet straight to Moscow to deliver the offer personally, since nothing says “diplomacy” like sending a real estate developer and a man whose most notable political achievement is marrying Ivanka.
Observers in Brussels remain unimpressed, probably because not a single EU diplomat remembers electing either of these two gentlemen to represent the free world.
Meanwhile, Trump assures his supporters that he alone can solve the conflict before he becomes a political ghost in six months, a timeline that seems to intensify his enthusiasm for handing out geopolitical freebies.
Critics note that Trump has no authority to “recognize Russian ownership” of anything, including his own social media companies, but that hasn’t slowed the momentum.
Kushner, for his part, appears delighted to play Secretary of State for a day, blissfully ignoring the minor detail that American voters have never chosen him for anything except maybe “most likely to misplace his security clearance.”