John General hides as churchgoers clobber Devil for embarrassing him


John General hides as churchgoers clobber Devil for embarrassing him

RAPE-ACCUSED Bishop John Nundwe was a no show for today’s service at his Miracle Impact Ministries International Church in Lusaka’s Matero Township.

But the Bishop fondly known amongst his flock as John General was not the only absentee.

The church that is usually filled to overspilling capacity had dozens of empty seats while those present looked like non-members who had just come to have a glimpse of the naked marathon star.

As for the handful but staunch followers of the Bishop who turned up, they spent the larger part of their service assulting the devil for his canning role in the embarrassing episode that led to the arrest of their “spiritual father” John General on a charge of rape.

Earlier in the week, John General had masterminded a one-man raid against a legion of demons responsible for causing repeated miscarriages on one of his married female congregants who resides in 10 Miles.

But as the bishop launched his attack, the woman like many genuine spiritual warfare combatants resisted his methods and choice of weapons.

The Bishop is said to have stripped to the skin and using his baby-making fluids attempted to drown the malicious demons in the woman’s body.

The battle was however disrupted by the woman’s husband who unexpectedly walked in during the healing session.

Noticing the rage and anger in the husband’s face, the Bishop like a real military general, mastered a quick escape plan.

Caring less about clothes, the 50-year old Bishop quickly sneaked out of the house, scaled a wall fence and jumping on the other side and made a hasty escape with the scorching November afternoon sun shooting its rays all over his uncovered body.

He was arrested a day later but was quickly released on bond while photos of the clothes, vehicles and its keys he left behind were widely shared on social media.

John General’s followers blame all this on his enemies as well as the devil.

According to the flock that turned up this morning, what happened to John General was well-crafted plan meant to bring shame to the church.

With the General himself unable to face his congregation, his female lieutenant stood in his place and was quite equal to the task.

The pacing female pastor declared that the devil and the Bishop’s enemies were in for a spiritual whooping for their role in the dramatic events of Wednesday afternoon.

At her orders, the unplastered church auditorium reverberated with shouts of fire as the congregants poured spiritual fire on the invisible devil.

How wrong the devil should have been if he thought all he would get were a few verbal burns for the embarrassment he caused the Bishop because shadow boxing was also on the list.

Again, at the order of the female pastor, congregants delivered ferocious jabs, hooks, uppercuts and spiritual roundkicks to the unseen body of the conniving devil.

The congregation also petitioned God to come to the help of the Bishop General.

The sweat-drenched prayer warriors jumped and paced around, they knelt, they lay down on the dirty floor as they ranted and feated prayers petitioning God to punish John General’s enemies.

Upon being noticed, curious Kalemba journalists who had disguised themselves as members of the church were made to pray in defence of John General after being forced to hold hands like lovebirds about to exchange marital vows.

But as the church service came to an end, nosy journalists from Diamond TV, Zambia Daily Mail and Grindstone Television as well as Matero residents that had strayed to the church to hear the Bishop tell his side of the story were disappointed – he did not show up!

But his wife Maureen Nundwe found courage and told the church that “the little incident” would not cause her to leave her beloved husband encouraging other women to also emulate her.

“Women in this church, do not leave your husbands over small issues like this, you need to stay with him and show the enemy how strong you are,” she said.

“Am telling you, I love my husband very much, no matter what happens or what comes. Even if the stormy rains come, they will still find me with my General. This small issue like this can not shake me,” added Maureen.

By Buumba Mwitumwa



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