The Kambwili Runner: Deception & Cowardice

The Kambwili Runner: Deception & Cowardice

By Siphiwe Zulu

Chishimba Kambwili’s unexpected run made for an eventful week in Zambian politics the past week.

Unexpected because how a man who only a few short weeks ago appeared to be clinging to dear life could bolt the country seemingly without cause is not something one could script.

In the aftermath of that hyena escapade, it has become clear that the man must have been planning this for some time.

In fact, it brings into question all his famous and infamous episodes of illness, which seemingly raged whenever he had a court appearance or came into contact with law enforcement.

He must have designed his ploy around feigning illness and appealing to the softer nature of Zambians, who almost always take an “all is forgiven” stance whenever a political figure encounters “unfortunate” circumstances.

This forgiveness is always clothed in the notion that whatever is said or done in the name of politics somehow should not be taken seriously because it’s not meant to be what was said or done.

It’s just politics, they say. Kambwili himself confirms this when he is heard pleading for assistance and forgiveness in a voice note that has made the rounds since his escape:
“I’m not well. My health is not well. Please find it in your heart to forgive me. Let me not die because of politics.”

Sir, we do not think you would die of politics. You would die of whatever illness plagues you, and contrary to your claims, we are pretty certain that nobody has it in for you to plot your death by any means. Those rantings are a perfect case of a figment of your imagination.

We find it unfathomable that someone who claims to love Zambia and would die for its “liberation” could so quickly bolt on self-advanced grounds so baseless as not to deserve any interrogation.

To hide his disgrace, he makes more hot-air claims about plots against his life due to his popularity.
What popularity? We are certain there are many people worthy of the word in this good country, but Kambwili does not meet the mark.

Anyway, last we checked, the presidency of the party he is aligned with already has an occupant, and not one at that! Besides, those who lead do not leave the led unattended.

He has demonstrated a classic case of cowardice!
And exactly what wrong has Kambwili done against the President and Zambians for which he was seeking forgiveness? Was it for fomenting tribal hatred or telling people to urinate in Lake Kariba to end loadshedding, or for the many other lies and unpalatable utterances over the years?

A word of advice, sir: next time you ask for our forgiveness, please itemize the wrongs to enable us to decide on each. In a court of law, all the counts of the offenses a suspect is accused of are individually stated.

Anyway, since his splitting action has confirmed that everything he said in those pleadings is delusory, including the pretentious ailing tone, our counsel is to remind him that umulandu taubola as we dismiss him with the contempt he deserves.

Kalemba