BY Kasebamashila Kaseba
WHEN ONE DELIVERED EXPENSIVE TOILET INSTEAD OF ONE’S PROMISED CHEAP MEALIE MEAL
— “For I was hungry and you gave me” a flashable toilet to flash —
Once upon a time in the long future ahead, also called the forward, the one all knowing great King of the great Kingdom, in the King declared drought disaster year, of one cassava meal in three to four days thus one flashable toilet visit in two weeks or fortnight, the richest King who had promised or decreed the cheapest maize mealie meal in history ceremoniously commissioned the most expensive flashable toilet for his poor subjects.
The rich King was alone happy to deliver or palter the unpromised most expensive flashable toilet instead of the cheapest staple food to the starving subjects also called starvelings’ dining tables.
He was also himself alone satisfied to deliver toilet water instead of kitchen sink drinking water.
He seemed unaware his Kingdom and subjects had already fallen off the Bristol Stool Scale of seven types of stool as they both urinated and defecated pure water, as opposed to “rice water stool” of the former King.
In short, they urinated, front and back.
He too had also fallen off or ran counter to his heir-apparent princely promises to the subjects, JCTR BNNB, United Nations SDGs, the home economics basic areas of eat first and toilet second.
As the King’s caravan of horse chariots left the flashable toilet sub area of “The Watchers” (Balangililo) in the larger area of “The Dawn” (Kwacha) of “The Elephant Head City” (Chitwe) the King watched for himself as a long convoy of elephant chariots ladden with cheap maize mealie meal quaked the earth as they snaked their export mealie meal cargo to the neighboring Kingdom, which was also the source of flashable toilet water.
The export convoy was guarded and escorted by his soldiers.
The King also watched his distracted subjects and then shouted to the watchers of the mealie meal convoy, “Remember, as I said (flashing) water is life; more important than cheap export mealie meal.”
This is nonsense man. One cannot blame the drought on HH
One can blame the conman for selling our maize reserves that ECL left as food security.
This is nonsense man. One cannot blame the drought on HH
One can blame the conman for selling our maize reserves that ECL left as food security.
Your satirical writing is next to the muwelewele the elephant article by Roy Clark that earned him a deportation back, unfortunately to Zambia.
Kaseba hope the all angry, knowing and ever working but never delivering king won’t flash you down the sewer like mumbi phiri and only to be released in 2026.
Unfortunately when the king will be no longer.
Your satirical writing is next to the muwelewele the elephant article by Roy Clark that earned him a deportation back, unfortunately to Zambia.
Kaseba hope the all angry, knowing and ever working but never delivering king won’t flash you down the sewer like mumbi phiri and only to be released in 2026.
Unfortunately when the king will be no longer.