“I DIDN’T CONFRONT ANY OF MY HUSBAND’S GIRLFRIENDS, NOT EVEN LUCY SICHONE; I WAS IN CONTROL OF MY MARRIAGE”
BA REGINA NA SELF-CONFIDENCE
DID you know that Regina Musokotwane, that veteran politician, was so much in control of her marriage with former Prime Minister, the late Kebby Musokotwane that she never even confronted any of the so many women he had affairs with, including that fervent human rights activist, the late Lucy Sichone?
“He was a young handsome Prime Minister, oh my God!” exclaims Regina Musokotwane, and continues.
“I am not even going to say Kebby loved women, no. It was the other way round, women loved him.”
For details, follow the excerpt below from
(Conversations with Memorable Personalities)
Amos Malupenga:
I know that towards the end of his life, Mr. Musokotwane had another marriage with the now late Lucy Sichone…
Regina Musokotwane:
It wasn’t a marriage. It was a relationship. When you marry someone there is a sign that you have married. In developed countries they wear rings but here a man has to go to your people and a ceremony takes place.
None of that took place. So I wouldn’t call it a
marriage. I would call it a relationship.
Amos Malupenga:
Since they had a child or children together, can’t we call it a marriage?
Regina Musokotwane:
No. There are men who have children from five different women, are we going to say those are marriages? I told you that Kebby was a very nice person. He didn’t want to hurt a person. And because of that, Kebby ran into a lot of problems.
That relationship with Lucy is one of those things he did out of wanting not to hurt a person. If you go through the writings of The Post where they discussed that relationship, you will not read in any of those articles where Kebby said he was married to Lucy. Even on that television program with Frank Mutubila, Frank asked him a specific question whether or not he was married to Lucy and Kebby said he was not married but the process was still going on.
The first person who took Lucy to Kebby’s relatives was Kebby’s aunt who is now late. They took her to the village. That is why I am saying some things are difficult in the African society. So aunt called the relatives when she arrived and said ‘we have brought this lady because Kebby wants to marry her’.
And they were asked, ‘does his wife know that you people are here?’ She said ‘I do not know’. So they said ‘then get back, go and tell her you are bringing this woman here’.
They came back and told Kebby that ‘this is what they told us’. About three weeks later, Kebby himself went with Lucy to the village. And they asked him at the village to say ‘now you have come yourself? Where is your wife because she should have been here?’ He said, ‘she is in Lusaka and she doesn’t know we are here’.
They said, ‘if your wife is going to bring Lucy to say you want to marry Lucy, we are going to bless the marriage because according to our custom, when your wife agrees that you take a second wife, we your relatives will go to her relatives to seek permission for their daughter to go into a polygamous marriage. We cannot agree on our own if her relatives do not agree because they are even going to charge us for the second time for inconveniencing their relative.
So that process must go on before you marry Lucy. If your wife is not aware or approving, we are not going to approve it.’
Amos Malupenga:
Did Kebby ask you for approval?
Regina Musokotwane:
He didn’t.
Amos Malupenga:
If he did, what could have been your response?
Regina Musokotwane:
I was going to allow him.
Amos Malupenga:
Are you sure about that?
Regina Musokotwane:
Yes. If you remember, The Post came and interviewed me over that issue of Lucy. Late Bright Mwape interviewed me when Kebby was still president of UNIP. I told Bright to say ‘look I have lived with this man for 30 years and it was not a joke to live with a man for 30 years. But you never know maybe I was not a good wife in those 30 years and now towards the end of his life he has found the love of his life so who am I to say no?
Life is too short to waste and I would not want Kebby to die miserable because I have refused him to marry a woman of his choice. I said if Kebby thinks Lucy is going to be a better wife in his last years of his life, please let him go ahead and marry and if he had asked me I was not going to refuse’.
And when I was saying that, Kebby was sitting next to me. I said I am not going to stand in his way.
Amos Malupenga:
Why didn’t he take advantage of your position over that matter to seek your approval?
Regina Musokotwane:
I think it was because he had no cause to marry Lucy. Why do you want to marry a second wife? You want to marry a second wife because of problems in your first marriage. The other reason he didn’t marry Lucy was that we married under the Act. If he married Lucy without divorcing me, it was going to be polygamy, which is an offence.
Amos Malupenga:
If he had no cause to marry Lucy, why was Kebby in that relationship with her in the first place?
Regina Musokotwane:
If it was a first relationship he was having, I was going to question. But Lucy’s relationship was not the first one. Kebby was a very handsome man. Women fell on his feet. How many men are going to have women falling on their feet and then they kick all of them around? You can kick one, two and three but the fourth one you cannot kick.
Kebby was in that position. He was handsome, had a good job and money. Which woman would not want to have such a man? So women came in great numbers. Some he kicked out and others he did not.
Amos Malupenga:
So you knew not only about Lucy’s affair with Kebby but many others?
Regina Musokotwane:
Of course! You mean you can fail to know that after living with someone for 30 years? I told Bright Mwape that the only thing that consoles me is that there is nothing Lucy is going to give Kebby that I have not given him. I said I have given Kebby seven children, I have given him wealth. He went as far as Prime Minister so what was next? That was the end of the road so I asked ‘what is Lucy bringing?’
Amos Malupenga:
So how did Kebby’s relationship with Lucy affect your marriage?
Regina Musokotwane:
It didn’t affect my marriage in any way. Kebby never went away from me, not even for two or three days which is unlike what many men will do in that position. I was in control of my marriage myself. I was in control of my husband.
Amos Malupenga:
Did you confront the other girls or women whom Kebby flirted with?
Regina Musokotwane:
No. I don’t think those were relationships that would make one feel that ‘maybe my husband does not love me’. These are women who wanted Kebby for what he was. I don’t think even these women wanted marriage or something. He was a young handsome Prime Minister, oh my God! I am not even going to say Kebby loved women, no. It was the other way round, women loved him.
And these things didn’t bother me because Kebby was a loving husband. There was nothing he left to chance in the home because of another woman. The children were well catered for. I was catered for. Just look at where we are sitting now. He left this building (a house in Lusaka’s Kabulonga area). There is another building behind this one here. So me and the children are comfortable. We have a farm in Southern Province and we have another farm in Central Province. …
An excerpt from
(Conversations with Memorable Personalities)
Pictures below:
Regina Musokotwane, Kebby Musokotwane and Lucy Sichone.