By Godfrey Chitalu
A gathering in See Car Zay of educated police officers was underway. Named after a renowned linguist, a whole platoon of Mphombozi was reviewing a rescue mission for a woman abducted six months ago. Their plan was to apportion blame on the previous uneducated officers called Kapasos for their cadre mentality.
“Gentlemen” although the gathering had female officers, “we have to put a stop to these abductions” said a huge figure of a man named Car Jobber, who had carved a career chasing cars. The entire See Car Zay camp was home to traffic officers, whose irises were inseparable from cars and money.
To help solve this mystery we have invited Zee International Company for Tracking Activities (ZICTA), he shouted nonchalantly while handing over to a zee TV official. “As long as the abductors use smart phones, their days are numbered, the bespectacled official thundered. The next speaker, a highly decorated officer insisted that since the last TV thief wore a green shirt, the team should concentrate on anything green. Hooray! Eureka!
Just then a phone rung from Car Lala saying they had found the abductors. What ensured at See Car Zay was chaotic! Where is ray to shine our way? What about Zero Breaking News Corporation? Do we have enough tear gas? Nanga full well. The scene in slow motion segued to the final lap as gun totting officers scrambled to board dozens of armored vehicles.
On arrival, the swat team was pleasantly surprised to find a slim teenager mistakenly paraded as commander. He had pinned one red and not green shirted abductor while being accosted for an interview by fearless Costa! Like Costa he picked words with finesse, knew the geography of the area and triumphantly said he was unfazed when the other abductors vanished in thin air. When asked about the abducted young woman, he corrected the Mphombozi by saying it was actually a dozen plus one.
After ransacking the entire crime scene, the jigsaw puzzle was unraveled. It looked like the search party concentrated on cyber-crimes and smart phones when abductors were using Nokia 33 phones hidden in a casket. Now the feared disciplinary committee is pushing the heroic youngster to start training ba Mphombozi, who wasted their time shooting videos and taking selfies at the crime scene! Police have responded by saying Robby is an impostor.
The author is a social commentator who writes for pleasure
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