THE CASE OF THE OFFENSIVE VESTIGES OF COLONIALISM
[Mr Nicholas Woolley]
Mr Nicholas WOOLLEY, the British High Commissioner to Zambia is our guest.
And being here on behalf of His King, we are happy to have him in Zambia.
Britain, Mr Woolley’s country, is guilty of the worst atrocities ever committed against black Africa by any empire.
Aware of this, Mr WOOLLEY ought to be living in cold fear, walking scared on the streets of Africa.
I am surprised that Mr WOOLLEY is NOT surprised at the hospitality we have extended to him, that the freedom with which he lives in Lusaka, he might actually not be accorded in his own London.
Worse still for blacks in his country.
You see, Mr WOOLLEY, Zambia does NOT segregate against the British.
But the British, to this day, segregate against black people.
If you are black, even a stellar performance for the English National Football team doesn’t earn you respect or the bragging rights as an Englishman.
Just ask Marcus RASHFORD.
We wish to inform Mr WOOLLEY that, here in Africa, we have REMAINED human.
Elsewhere, in many places we won’t mention here for reasons of space, we are aware that decadence has now taken root and MUTANTS now inhabit those wretched lands.
In Zambia, Mr WOOLLEY has, perhaps inadvertently, elevated himself to a LORD.
His behaviour is increasingly REMINISCENT of Civil Rhodes, overbearing, condescending and impertinent.
We are NOT savages you see.
And we are no longer slaves.
Mr WOOLLEY appears to think that Zambia is still a British protectorate.
Will somebody please give him some coffee so he quickly wakes up.
As his lackey, Mr WOOLLEY might be managing our Republican President.
But Mr WOOLLEY is NOT managing Zambia and its people.
For the information of Mr WOOLLEY, it is the people of Zambia who collectively have AUTHORITY over their Republican Presdent and NOT the other way round.
It then follows that it is folly for him to reduce himself to a PRAISE SINGER for one man only, only a transient phenomenon.
Mr WOOLLEY should read the latest US Human Rights report on Zambia. This report, done by his own relatives, notes and has documented human rights abuses by the UPND in government.
It notes, using paraphrased language, that the political and democracy space have SHRUNK in Zambia.
But despite this objective view, Mr WOOLLEY disputes this and claims that Zambia is doing fine and democracy is growing.
Come on, Mr WOOLLEY, really? You must be out of your mind.
As if high on a psychoactive substance, Mr WOOLLEY, full of praise and adulation, says ‘HH wakulekafye.’
Really, Mr Woolley? Since when did you become Hakainde HICHILEMA’s PR frontman?
Is this really what King CHARLES sent you here for?
To dabble/meddle in the internal affairs of Zambia and mock its citizens?
Zambia, Mr WOOLLEY, might be doing fine in your Embassy, and democracy might growing there. Fine.
But here where we are, in Mandebvu [Lusaka] and Racecourse and Kapoto [Kitwe], Mr WOOLLEY, the rule of law is in tatters. Citizens are suffering torture by the State, arbitrary arrests have become everday, overall, police brutality is on the rise, and citizens are being found guilty in the press by the State, before being tried in the courts of law.
Mr Woolley, what has happened to your diplomatic eyes?
Has sycophancy blinded you that you now can’t see all these atrocities?
But then of course, these atrocities pale in comparison to what your ancestors committed against us.
Perhaps that is your yardstick.
One of Zambia’s celebrated Republican presidents, Dr Frederick CHILUBA said: ‘In the midst of SQUALOR and POVERTY, democracy is a recipe for anarchy.’
Now Mr WOOLLEY, tell me, what democracy have you seen grow in Zambia when its ailing economy and high cost of living are every day creating squalor and poverty everywhere? Are you in the business of brewing anarchy, High Commissioner?
From a failing country or uninspiring leadership, there is a junkies galore out there now in the compounds of Zambia.
The streets of Zambia are now being littered with sorry pieces of a social fabric in veritable tatters.
Mr WOOLLEY, stop trivialising our lives.
Do NOT mistake our unmatchable HOSPITALITY for weakness.
You are our guest, sir.
Please BEHAVE.
Keep your British manners of having airs and of snobbery to yourself.
Because of our UMUNTHU spirit, despite your people’s shady past, remember that we still respect you, Mr WOOLLEY.
Respect us.
You have your Britain.
Leave our Zambia ALONE.
Nothing is more offensive than a queer guest with known baggage who begins to throw his weight around and starts to disrespect his host.
We may have no money, Mr WOOLLEY, but this country is OURS, warts and all. Ask Mr Daniel FOOTE.
You strike me as a smart man, Mr WOOLLEY.
Certainly, it isn’t wool that is between your ears.
Days of empire are over, Mr WOOLLEY.
A new world order is emerging.
A world were mutual respect prevails amongst nations and multipolarity of global power exists is on the horizon.
Africa’s assertiveness is again on the ascendancy, it remains invincible and unstoppable.
Keep your place, Mr WOOLLEY.
Leave Zambians to govern THEMSELVES.
The British have nauseated us in the past.
But then this is 2023, isn’t it? Or is it that some things just never change?
Somebody pinch me!
Is something the matter with my nature?
Am I just too nice?
Why is it that aliens keep taking advantage of me?
CITIZEN Canisius
Development Activist
9 July 2023