The Great Maize Sell-off: UPND’s Recipe for a Hunger Disaster”

The Great Maize Sell-off: UPND’s Recipe for a Hunger Disaster”
Chilambwe Mulenga

In a baffling move that has left many scratching their heads and stomachs, the UPND government’s decision to offload Zambia’s maize reserves to neighboring Congo had ignited a firestorm of criticism. With food security teetering on the brink, citizens were left wondering if they’ll soon be dining on promises instead of meals.

The decision to part ways with our precious maize reserves seemed to have been made without consulting the common-sense manual. It’s like selling your umbrella during a downpour and hoping for sunny skies. And to add insult to hunger, the vibrant and knowledgeable Chola Kafwabulula, who held the key to our food security fortress as Director of the Food Reserve Agency, was unceremoniously given the boot. Clearly, in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is surplus to requirements.

But wait, there’s more! Civil servants with a knack for understanding farming patterns and the art of stockpiling food for a rainy day at the ministry of Agriculture were shown the door faster than you can say “crop failure.” It’s like kicking out the lifeguards and then wondering why everyone’s drowning.

And let’s not forget the ingenious plan to distribute farming inputs like confetti at a wedding, with no regard for where the rain was forecasted to fall. Because who needs logic when you have political favors to dispense?

Now, as the clouds gather ominously and stomachs growl in protest, the UPND government seems content to fiddle while Zambia starves. But fear not, dear citizens, for salvation may yet come in the form of President Hakainde Hichilema’s epiphany. After all, it was he who once called for a hunger disaster to be declared. It’s only fair that he now takes a bite of his own words, now that he’s the one at the helm.
As unrest simmers and riots threaten to boil over, one can’t help but marvel at the UPND’s remarkable ability to turn a food crisis into a comedy of errors. With records aplenty at the Zambia Met Department and the Office of the Vice President’s DMMU, it’s clear that the writing was on the wall. Perhaps it’s time for the government to put down their pens and pick up some groceries instead.

In conclusion, as the country braces for the impending hunger disaster, one can’t help but wonder if the UPND’s leadership style is guided by a compass or a mood ring. Either way, it’s shaping up to be a feast of folly and a famine of foresight.
Napita Mukwai