WEEKLY REFLECTIONS WITH DR MWELWA
UPND’s Proxy Voting Fiasco: A Comedy Show in Zambian Politics
In the wild world of Zambian politics, a circus of controversy is unfolding, starring none other than the UPND government, masters of the political tightrope act known as ‘imingalato.’ With their reputation plummeting faster than a clumsy acrobat, they’ve decided to hold on to power with all the grace of a stumbling clown.
You see, the UPND government knows that their chances of winning the 2026 elections are about as likely as finding a unicorn in the Zambezi River. So, what’s their cunning plan? Manipulation, trickery, and a touch of tyranny, of course! They’ve concocted a brilliant idea called proxy voting to save their sinking ship.
But what in the world is proxy voting, you ask? Well, it’s a magical concept that allows Members of Parliament (MPs) to cast votes on behalf of absent individuals during parliamentary sessions. It’s like having your very own parliamentary avatar. Isn’t that just delightful?
According to the UPND, proxy voting makes things more efficient and flexible. Who needs MPs physically present when you can just send your vote through WhatsApp? It’s like ordering takeout, but instead of food, you’re ordering questionable political decisions.
Of course, this brilliant plan has a few hiccups. For starters, proxy voting means that constituents won’t actually have direct representation anymore. What fun is democracy if you can’t interact with your elected officials? It’s like going to a circus and finding out there are no clowns. Who will entertain us then?
But wait, there’s more! Proxy voting opens the door to all sorts of power abuse. MPs could delegate their votes to anyone they please, turning democracy into a game of who can bribe the most. It’s like a twisted version of Monopoly, where the MP with the most proxies wins. Talk about a rollercoaster ride of corruption!
And let’s not forget about accountability. With proxy voting, MPs can hide behind their proxies like a magician hiding behind their hat. If things go awry, they can blame their poor proxy for messing things up. It’s like a never-ending blame game, with no one taking responsibility for their actions. Bravo!
Oh, the potential for manipulation is simply icing on the cake. External actors could easily influence MPs to cast proxy votes against their better judgment. It’s like a bad soap opera, where the script is written by puppeteers pulling the strings from behind the curtains. Can we get some popcorn for this political drama, please?
And as if it couldn’t get any more chaotic, introducing proxy voting would just complicate things further. More rules, more procedures, more headaches. It’s like adding extra tightropes for MPs to navigate while they juggle elephants and flaming torches. Good luck keeping up, folks!
So, dear National Assembly of Zambia, please reconsider this farcical idea of proxy voting. Let’s keep democracy alive and thriving, with MPs doing what they were elected to do – being physically present, engaging in debates, and voting like responsible adults. And while we’re at it, let’s not forget to bring back the clowns. We could use a good laugh in these trying times.
In the grand circus of Zambian politics, let’s not fall for the UPND’s comedy show of proxy voting. Together, let’s protect the magic of democracy and ensure that it remains a spectacle worth watching – minus the tricks, of course.