Laura Miti  writes:

I finally listened to the Chabinga Audio.
Firstly, can we stop accusing AI?

Ninshi, in this country, we just can’t take responsibility for anything, or at least shut up when we can’t explain ourselves out of a corner we gave painted ourselves into? If it’s not God we are dragging into things He has nothing to do with, it’s witches. Now, we have added AI.

Anyway, about the audio – I laughed at 12 missed calls.

OK, let’s say the plot exists, to bribe a judge in a foreign country to rule a particular way in a bizarre matter before him, that has the eyes if the whole continent on it. Why would it be the President himself making the calls

Ninshi, where are his henchmen  – bene Christopher Mundia, Levy Ngoma so路‍♀️??

Then, to bribe a judge in a foreign country, you jump on a plane? Where, bantu ba Mulungu, will a random someone find a whole judge of the high court of another country to have a conversation about subverting the course of justice? Is it at his house, in a bar, in his office? Olo chabe number yaba judge, ba Chabinga bazachosa kuti?

Finally, when the President of Zambia, needs a high stakes, unlawful activity to be done, he will choose Chabinga as his chosen man. Out of all the tools in the shed, you choose a hammer to dig a hole??

Eh – oookay!

K100,000 (100pin) FOR A CHICKEN!

What was supposed to be a simple village chicken auction at the Likumbi Lya Mize Fundraising Gala Dinner in Kitwe turned into a plot twist so dramatic, even Netflix would ask for the script!

It all started innocently enough with a humble starting bid of K100. Just your average village cock, probably thinking it was headed for a stewpot. But oh no, fate had bigger plans. Within moments, the price flew up faster than fuel prices hitting K5,000 in a heartbeat as Gala patrons flung their hands in the air like they were bidding on Beyoncé’s left shoe.

And just when people thought it was getting out of hand, things got out of chicken.

In swooped the Director of Programs with one line: “Let’s auction the chicken,” and BOOM, Kitwe turned into Las Vegas. The competition got so tense, you could smell the kwacha sweating. Hon. Elisha Matambo, Copperbelt Minister and proud son of Lamba soil, came in swinging with cultural pride and loud bids. But just as he was about to chicken walk away with the prize

Enter the man who guards the minerals of the land, Hon. Paul Kabuswe, Minister of Mines and Minerals Development, who whipped out a bid of K100,600 like he was buying a gold-plated rooster. The room went silent. Mouths dropped. Even the chicken looked confused. “Who, me?”

And just like that, a once clueless village cock became Africa’s Most Expensive Chicken. Some even say it might be the priciest feathered creature ever sold on Earth. Move over KFC this cock’s got stock options!

Once again, the Likumbi Lya Mize Traditional Ceremony has proven that when it comes to culture, pride, and jaw-dropping moments, nobody does it better.

 Hon. Elisha Matambo (and maybe the chicken, for being such a good sport)

HOT FM

STATE FUNERAL IMPASSE, THE PROBLEM AND THE SOLUTION. THE ANALYSIS.

🧭 I. THE CONFLICT
The tragedy of most conflicts, whether political, social, or global, is the failure of opposing sides to consider the other’s perspective. Each group often believes they are the reasonable party, while the other is unreasonable. This entrenched thinking leads to stalemates, emotional outbursts and sometimes and decisions that deepen wounds rather than heal them, leading to destruction and lost of lives.

Zambia is witnessing such a moment in the unfolding standoff surrounding the funeral of former President Edgar Chagwa Lungu. The government and the grieving family both feel wronged and justified in their positions. Instead of dialogue, we are now seeing demonization, suspicion, and emotional escalation, all deeply regrettable at a time when unity and dignity should prevail.

⚖️ II. THE SOURCE OF THE CONFLICT
The impasse over President Lungu’s funeral has been shaped by a complex history of political rivalry, perceived injustices, and mutual mistrust. Emotions are understandably high. Both sides feel aggrieved by how they were treated when the other held power.

As civic activists, we had planned to launch a “Bury ECL in Zambia” campaign to push for dialogue and reconciliation. However, following the emergence of a controversial leaked audio, we stepped back to avoid the appearance of partisanship or manipulation. Still, the matter demands attention, and resolution, not on political lines, but on principle and national interest.

🧩 III. DIFFERING NARRATIVES
👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 1. The Grieving Family’s Concerns

• The family insists that the late President did not want the current Head of State to attend his funeral, a wish they believe must be honored.
• There are circulating suspicion, however unverified, that the former President may have been poisoned or mistreated, and concerns have been raised (again, unproven) about possible ritual motives.
• The family believes that the denial of permission to travel for medical attention may have contributed to his untimely death.

🏛️ 2. The Government’s Position

• The government sees the family’s demands, particularly excluding the President from the funeral, as unreasonable and driven by political emotion.
• It believes President Hichilema has made significant efforts to extend an olive branch and uphold the dignity of the office.
• Officials have argued that the Patriotic Front (PF) is politicizing the funeral to gain public sympathy and stir division.
• The government also points to protocol and legal precedent, which typically place state funerals under government authority.

⚠️ IV. THE REAL STAKES
Every well-meaning Zambian wants former President Lungu to be buried in his home country, with dignity and honor. But it’s important to recognize one simple truth: the government holds the decisive cards. It controls the protocols, resources, and political tone that will shape the outcome. The way this is handled will be remembered for decades.

Is the family being unreasonable? To some extent, yes, but not entirely. In Zambia, once allegations of superstition or foul play enter public discourse, they are extremely difficult to dislodge. No amount of explanation or assurance will easily change public or private sentiment. This emotional immovability makes it more feasible for the government, not the family, to make meaningful concessions for the sake of peace.

⚖️ V. A LEGAL ROUTE: A NATIONAL DEFEAT
Should the matter be resolved in the courts, particularly abroad, no one will win:

• If the ruling favors the family, President Lungu may be buried outside Zambia, depriving the nation of its chance to give him a dignified farewell.
• If the ruling favors the government, the family and political allies may boycott the funeral entirely, robbing it of the human solidarity it requires.

Either outcome reflects a national failure.

🛤️ VI. PATH TO RESOLUTION: WHAT CAN BE DONE
To break this deadlock, Zambia must prioritize dignity, compassion, and practicality. Two viable options exist:

1. Presidential Delegation Instead Of Attendance
   The President can respect the family’s request by sending a high-level representative, such as the Vice President or Cabinet Minister, to attend on behalf of the government. This frames the President’s absence not as a sign of weakness, but of compassion and humility. It elevates national unity above personal or political rivalries.
2. Downgrade To A Private Funeral
   Alternatively, the funeral can be reclassified from a State Funeral to a private, family-led ceremony. This allows the burial to proceed without tension or protocol clashes. The government can still offer logistical and security support as a sign of goodwill.

🕯️ VII. FINAL REFLECTIONS
It’s worth noting that South African law strongly favors family rights over the deceased, and Zambia risks losing the legal battle should it proceed there. In that scenario, history will judge us all harshly, not for choosing a side, but for failing to find common ground.

For now, all parties, especially government leaders, must commit to quiet diplomacy. No inflammatory statements, no political games, and no reckless speculation until this solemn chapter is concluded.

This is not just about Edgar Chagwa Lungu. It is about who we are as a nation. Let us act not out of pride, fear, or vengeance, but with dignity, restraint, and love for our country. 🇿🇲

Anyways, the struggle continues.
David Chishimba
Wounded Buffalo.
Revolutionary.

The PF–Tonse Alliance and the Politics of Nostalgia: When Lamentation Fails

By Farai Ruvanyathi

26th July 2025

It has become abundantly clear that the sudden jostling within the so-called PF–Tonse Alliance signals a political moment of reckoning. The alliance’s failed attempts at generating public sympathy using former President Edgar Lungu’s death have not only fallen flat but exploded spectacularly in their faces.

A Political Strategy Built on a Corpse

The Alliance’s ill-advised attempt to use President Lungu’s remains as a campaign symbol was a deeply cynical move. The public saw through the manipulation. The “corpse campaign,” spearheaded by Given Lubinda and Raphael Nakachinda, failed to resonate with a population grappling with tangible alternatives, not manufactured grief.

In what can only be described as a nationwide tour of sorrow, the Alliance turned the biblical Book of Lamentations into a playbook. But the Zambian people didn’t buy it. They responded not with tears, but with rejection, delivering electoral blows in recently held by elections, that exposed not just strategic incompetence, but national fatigue with the Lungu era and its trappings.

Factions Without a Future

With the sympathy card burned to ash, the PF–Tonse Alliance now finds itself in disarray. Leadership struggles have intensified, and with no clear ideological anchor, it’s a free-for-all. As the Americans would say: get your popcorn ready.

At the heart of the chaos lies an ethnic contradiction. Can Nakachinda and Lubinda, closely associated with the so-called “Zambezi Province”,  a regional identity manufactured by PF’s own ethnic stereotyping,  credibly lead a movement whose traditional stronghold lies in the Northern region?

Ethnic Arithmetic Turned on Its Head

The same ethnic formulas that the PF once weaponized to divide and marginalize others are now undermining their own ranks. The Alliance’s key figures,  Kelvin Bwalya Fube, Brian Mundubile, Harry Kalaba, Binwell Mpundu, and Dan Pule, each represent diverging ambitions and regional loyalties. None have demonstrated the capacity to unify or articulate a national vision that speaks to the present-day needs of ordinary Zambians.

As the internal succession war heats up, the Alliance looks less like a political alternative and more like a theatre troupe rehearsing for a play no one wants to watch.

What Do They Stand For?

Now that the “corpse theory” has failed, what message does the PF–Tonse Alliance offer to the people of Zambia? What credible alternatives are they proposing to the economic recovery plan being pursued by President Hakainde Hichilema?

Thus far, the Alliance has distinguished itself as a coalition of self-styled social media commentators and suit-clad photo posers, men more preoccupied with image than policy. Zambians have grown accustomed to seeing neatly choreographed images of these men in suits, posing at airports, on pavements, and even in church pews, but little else.

Still Trapped in Edgar Lungu’s Shadow

None of the Alliance’s frontmen have worked to build a broad national appeal. Instead, they remain trapped in a narrow, sectarian political framework rooted in the ethnic exclusionism of the Lungu era,  an era that openly left out four provinces from Cabinet appointments and pursued politics of division rather than development.

This is not a coalition of visionaries. It is a nostalgic club of the past, desperately trying to revive a legacy that the majority of Zambians have moved on from.

Zambia Deserves Better

At a time when the country is undergoing significant economic and institutional reforms under President Hichilema’s leadership, Zambians deserve a credible opposition,  one that can present fresh ideas, engage in policy debates, and challenge the government with substance, not sentiment.

Unfortunately, the PF–Tonse Alliance has shown neither the capacity nor the will to be that opposition. Until it sheds its reliance on ethnic patronage, political nostalgia, and theatrics, it will remain nothing more than a hollow echo of a fading past.

• Farai Ruvanyathi is a political analyst and commentator who writes about governance, political trends, and regional affairs.

TONSE ALLIANCE STATEMENT ON PUBLIC DISAGREEMENTS BETWEEN SOME ALLIANCE MEMBERS

Lusaka, 26th July 2025

1. The TONSE ALLIANCE has noted with regret, the public display of disagreements between some of the members, using different media platforms, in the past two days.

2. The Alliance would like to assert that the conduct of washing dirty linen in public is contrary to the values and principles of the TONSE ALLIANCE, as enshrined in the Alliance Constitution.

3. The TONSE ALLIANCE would like to assure the general public that the Alliance is intact and ready to serve the Zambian people. However, we also wish to acknowledge and admit that there exists some disagreements between some members, regarding the correct interpretation of the Alliance Constitution, but these internal disagreements are being amicably resolved internally.

4. It is worth noting that, in an Alliance, disagreements are normal and sometimes even healthy. What is not healthy is when such internal disagreements are taken to the public using the media. In this regard, the TONSE ALLIANCE would like to inform the general public that it has since issued a moratorium on all members, to cease and desist from issuing public statements on any internal matters of the Alliance. Appropriate disciplinary action shall be taken against any erring member who fails to comply with this directive.

5. The TONSE ALLIANCE would like to take this opportunity to also inform the public that there is only one Deputy Spokesperson of the Alliance, and that person remains Ambassador Emmanuel Mwamba. Any other person who claims or portrays themselves as a Deputy Spokesperson of the Alliance, should be ignored with the contempt that they deserve.

6. The TONSE ALLIANCE looks forward to electing its substantive leadership, following the untimely loss of our Chairman, His Excellency Dr Edgar Chagwa Lungu, as soon as we lay our Chairman to rest. In the meantime, all members are advised to focus on mourning with President Lungu’s family. May the Soul of Our Dearly Departed Chairman Rest in Eternal Peace.

Issued by:

Sean E. Tembo (SET)
PeP President, TONSE ALLIANCE Spokesperson and Chairman of the Disciplinary Committee
Lusaka, Zambia